There is now-a-days, a lot of talk about Life -skills. The Google tells us that-
Like skills are abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable humans to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of life. This concept is also termed as psychosocial competency. And what are the list of things expected in these life skills? Our Google baba answers –
- Communication and interpersonal skills. …
- Decision-making and problem-solving. …
- Creative thinking and critical thinking. …
- Self-awareness and empathy, which are two key parts of emotional intelligence. …
Yes, what our Google Baba says is not wrong, he is mostly right! Right? But over the years, I have observed something which I feel are the actual Life-skills required, if you want to live a happy, peaceful life with the least of skirmishes with people around you. These were also corroborated in the heavenly and timely enlightenment, I received. I have enlisted some virtues which are the modern day ammunition to be at peace with the world.
As I said, the human tendencies do not change, our dear Shakespeare had cautioned us in the 17th century and the same remains true even today and that is-Give every man thy ear but few thy voice.
If you follow this, you will be away from getting embroiled in any kind of gossip. There are many types of people around you, one set of people are harmless, they just catch the gossips with their high-tech antennas or eavesdrop and then pass on the gossip, only if they get an opportunity. But the second ones are the more dangerous, they catch us in the heat of the moment, pretend that they are our well-wishers, they instigate you to confide in them about any situation or person and then try to earn brownie points with the concerned person by sharing your volatile thoughts with him/her. The first life-skill which you have to learn is to be aware of such ‘cats on the wall’ type of characters who pretend to be on your side but tragically they are also close with your sweet adversary. So be alert and train your mind to set alarm bells ringing when you see such personalities around you.
The second life- skill which is important is to stay away from people who come straight from the Amul Butter shop and butter you like you are a slice of bread which they luxuriously butter-up for breakfast. So decide for yourself whether you want to get buttered -up by some opportunistic soul or you want to remain clean with no mental commitments to such clinging individuals.
Third and the best life-skill is to learn to ignore. If you learn to ignore, it will be the best thing to happen to you, you will not remain a person who will react easily and that will make people lose interest in you and that will leave you in happy isolation to complete your decided agenda without the encumbrances of meandering opportunistic individuals disturbing you.
The fourth life-skill is the ability to develop partial- listening skills. If you feel that what you have heard can be dangerous or it can make you burdened, then behave as if you have not registered anything. Nowadays, the habit of wearing earphones can be of great help in attenuating the accumulation of sin in this process.
Fifth life -skill is the act of giving ambiguous answers. Let me elaborate -that is to practise the art of giving answers like Dharmraj gave in Mahabharat when he was asked about the state of Ashwathamma -whether he was dead or alive. He said yes, he was dead but he did not mention that it was an elephant he was talking about. That means he also spoke the truth but at the same time, he could also cook his broth. These ambiguous answers can relieve you of so many awkward situations in life. Learn to be harmless in this way.
I know God has given us eyes as one of the five sensory organs to see this world and assimilate its beauty. But sometimes, this seeing something can land you in- trouble. So if you are asked a Question-“Did you see anything”, then the best answer is- “I don’t know- “Did anything happen?” Of course, I am not telling you to not register a grave thing like murder and avoid being an eye-witness and become anti-social but some comparatively innocent things may happen about which you may be cornered to give evidence, so instead of getting entangled and wasting your precious time in a non –conclusive and fruitless debate which can pump- up only chatter and which may result only in creating enemies, you can actually do a great social- service by closing the case and saying that you have not registered anything.
Sixth Life- skill which I would like to share with you is very invaluable. This is called Partial Amnesia. Some friend may run up to you and he may have made arrangements to nail someone and he wants you as a witness while banking heavily on your dependable memory (he knows that you are in the habit of eating Almonds everyday) and you do not want that more rivals should be created in your life and your friend’s too (that’s social service) so you practice the weapon of Partial Amnesia or even total Amnesia, if needed. You may feel pity for your dear friend for a while when you inform him that you don’t remember anything, but don’t give in to this pity. It is a moment of extreme trial for you! It is for your own and his good future that you are selecting this path of pretending to have forgotten what is most needed. If he requests you to try hard and remember, then you may also act like a hero in the movie who gets headache when he tries hard to remember something.
The seventh life- skill is to learn to control the high- tide of phone talk that may drown you into leaving no time for doing your own work. It is up to you to learn the skill of communicating that you have got the point and that when certain things get moving, we can talk later again. This of -course should be done without either hurting the ego or sensitivities of the person at the other end.
The eighth skill is the art of projecting to the world how much you have done when as a matter of fact you have done nothing much. This is also a great life- skill. You should be able to constantly talk about yourself as if the whole world revolves around you instead of the sun. Instead of waiting for the old practice of allotting credit, you should be able to tell everyone with a heart full of confidence and not an iota of guilt that you are the only one who works.
The ninth life- skill is to practice the art of connivance. You may know a thousand secrets about that person, you may know what he actually does, you may know how that person is a supreme backstabber, you may know what he is actually worth for, you may know that actually he is the person who spreads gossip about you, but you have to learn to control your emotions. You have to connive at all these truths and behave as if he is your only true mentor in the world and you will not be able to survive without his help (when actually you will be surely better –off without his negative helps)
And last but not the least is to maintain equanimity come what may. The world is there waiting with bated breath to see your anger rise, and witness you falter and hear some wrong word said and see some wrong action done. But Mind you! the biggest life -skill is to frustrate all these kind souls and give no grist to their rumour mills.
We may have all suffered a lot due to ignorance all these years. But I have also come across people with infinite equanimity and I had wondered how they managed it. But one fine day, and I even remember the eventful day was when the temperature was soaring at 45o, , a ray of knowledge was finally pierced into my mind by the benevolent Almighty! I have received this enlightenment about these modern day – truths sitting before my Air-conditioner. I have yet to start practising them. But before that, I decided to first convert my enlightenment into a treatise which I can share with you. If you believe what I may call the ten –fold path to peaceful and happy living, then you may go ahead to become its follower. Please comment in the box below to share your views and also add to the list.