My husband exasperates me! A common exclamation from the majority of women in these times!! ‘The new normal’ is what it is called. I am here to represent the majority of the womenfolk and not definitely the ‘other sex’. Till date many of our menfolk might not have ventured into the kitchen area or the washing area. Now they have got all the time and inclination to visit these places and scrutinize. They are extending their knowledge and experience of their offices to go about working in the home too! (#@&%@$%)
I have a problem, a huge problem.
I love my husband.
No, that is not a problem. That is the base. From there starts the whole journey of our life. I mean, had I not loved him from the depth of my heart and breadth of my soul, I wouldn’t have bothered about his opinion (for him); judgement (for me).
I feel the moment he points out the utensils are not cleaned or the groceries are absent, he is pronouncing that my project lacks planning and coordination. That I cannot prioritize thereby accomplishing the task at hand in the stipulated time frame. That I cannot anticipate the requirements of the family members blah blah blah……
Wait a minute!!!!!!!!!!!
Am I over reacting? Am I responding to a simple thing in the way I, or employees like me, react to the project managers? Am I becoming defensive? Am I overlooking the fact that my house is not my office, and that here, in my house, if I don’t do a thing, nobody else is going to do it? That I am incharge of the happiness and well being of my precious people?
Am I misinterpreting my husband’s words or actions? Is it time to take things from a different perspective?
Let me begin from the start. I am married. I have two kids. I have a home to manage. I am working from home. I am a part of the pandemic faced by millions of others too!!! I have to understand that my home is my temporary office. And likewise, my husband also shares this place. His intention is good. (he is basically a good natured guy!) I have to change the way I look at things.
The new normal is going to include my response to his words. I have to read into his words for exactly what he means and not drag and attach other meanings to it. I have to keep away from the lives and responses of the many people and media who are constantly posting various things (cases of domestic violence are increasing or that people are in need of psychological help). I have to stop applying these things to my life. Because if I do it, I will read much more than is intended by my poor husband. His simple comment about the dust that has gathered in a part of the house can be interpreted by me as ‘I am a bad mistress of the house’. If he says, ‘oh the kids are still sleeping?’ it has the potential to blow off in the wrong direction. I might interpret it as ‘you are a bad mother. You are not taking care of the sleeping habits of the kids. They are sleeping till late because last night they were watching TV or tab, or mobile or laptop (as the case may be) till late.’ my husband might just be ‘loud thinking’. May be he was making a mental note that we should put them to sleep early. That the new normal with no exams, no summer camps and no friends, has to be dealt in a different way.
Let us pause, weigh, think and interpret words and actions of others in the right way, to the precise degree, to the exact extent. To reduce friction amongst our fellow travelers, to understand them, (may be husbands, police and administrators) is also service to mankind!!!
Stay home, Stay safe, Stay productive, Stay frictionless!!!!